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With Cheryl Richardson, Author of "Life Makeovers"
If you've ever daydreamed about creating a more rewarding life for
yourself but felt frustrated or overwhelmed by where to begin, life
management coach Cheryl Richardson has the answer for you: Start small.
Her latest book, "Life Makeovers," offers guidance and "Take Action"
challenges that support and encourage you to take that first step -- and
each step that follows. Cheryl recently shared her thoughts on how small
changes can make a big difference.
* What's the best way to begin the process of changing our lives?
First of all, find other people who are interested in doing the same
thing. If you do that, success is almost guaranteed. Any kind of change
can be made so much more quickly and successfully with the support of
other people. Create a small support group for yourself -- two or three
people, or even just one other person -- and then get together on a
regular basis, either over the phone or in person.
* Your book mentions "finding your lost self." How do we do that?
The first thing you need to do is "show up" for yourself. That means
taking some time for yourself on a regular basis. For instance, every
morning go sit in a favorite place and write in a journal, or meditate or
take a walk. Do anything that puts you alone with your thoughts instead of
always being stimulated by other people's thoughts and ideas and requests.
It's not easy, but it is simple. Just take time for solitude and talk to
yourself. That's a great way to reconnect with yourself and with the
things you really want and need in your life. Connect with what you enjoy
about your life, what you're afraid of, and what's working and what isn't.
When you do that, you'll find your lost self. You'll get clear about the
things that are important to you. We all have busy lives, so although this
is the simplest piece of advice I have, it's often the most difficult to
follow.
It's important to stop and ask yourself: "When I get to the end of my
life, how will I feel about the time I spent here? Am I living my own life
or someone else's life?" The only way to answer those questions in a way
that will make you feel good about yourself is by investing in a
relationship with yourself. Make it a priority.
* What do you mean by the "gift of time"?
Time is finite. We only get a certain amount, and it's a gift. We need to
pay attention to how we're using this gift because too many of us squander
it. Get clear on what your priorities are. Create a list of the top five
things that need your attention for the next three to six months, and keep
that list near you so you'll remember the things that are most important.
When you see your priorities in front of you, you naturally begin to make
better choices. You become aware of how you're using your gift of time.
I've often said this, but it's worth repeating: When you come to the end
of your life, there's a good chance your boss isn't going to be there,
thanking you for the vacations you missed or the long hours you worked.
Your customers aren't going to tell you, "Thanks for missing your kids'
soccer games so you could get our product out." You are going to be there
at the end of your life, and your family is going to be there, and the
real question is, how did you spend your time with them? Will you feel
good about the way you've lived your life? Now is the time to answer that
question.
* How do we discover what's "fueling" us?
Become aware of your energy levels throughout the day, and where you turn
to get recharged. Some people turn to coffee in the morning to get charged
up; their fuel may be caffeine. Some people have a lot of drama or
conflict in their lives and they find their energy is always heightened as
a result of that drama. Some people get fuel from sugar and
high-carbohydrate food. The point is, are you choosing healthy fuel that's
long-lasting and supports your longevity, or are you choosing fuel that's
short-lived and may not be in the best interest of your long-term health?
You can make simple changes that will help you use healthy fuels. For
example, if you drink a lot of coffee and seem to need caffeine to get
recharged, you don't have to give up coffee altogether. Just try mixing
decaf with the caffeinated coffee to start yourself on healthier fuel. If
you typically start to drag by mid-afternoon, try nuts or cheese or a
protein drink instead of reaching for a candy bar.
And fuel isn't just food. The company of good friends, reading a good
book, regular exercise -- these kinds of things can fuel us in a healthy
way. And once you begin using those healthy fuels, you'll naturally turn
toward them on a regular basis.
Read the conclusion of our interview with Cheryl Richardson in next week's
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